The baby grew and was weaned. Abraham threw a big party on the day Isaac was weaned. One day Sarah saw the son that Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham, poking fun at her son Isaac. She told Abraham, “Get rid of this slave woman and her son. No child of this slave is going to share inheritance with my son Isaac!”
The matter gave great pain to Abraham-after all, Ishmael was his son.
Genesis 21:8-12
Desperate from years of infertility, Sarah had given her handmaid to Abraham thinking that perhaps Hagar could provide him with the heir he had waited for so long. Hagar conceives Ishmael and begins flaunting her belly and baby in a way that is cruel and just plain tacky. Once a maid, this son has elevated Hagar’s status and she basks in the attention her son receives from his father who believes Ishmael to be the son promised by God.
A few years later, deep into old age Sarah gives birth to a son of her own, upsetting everything including the inheritance and coveted title of “first son”. Needless to say, it didn’t help the already stifling air in the one side of the tent these two women were forced to share, living, eating, sleeping inches from one another, inhaling each other’s dust and sweat. One day when Sarah sees Ishmael making fun of the child she has prayed, begged and sobbed for, Sarah loses it. “I want them gone” she tells Abraham. She doesn’t care that kicking them out into the brutal desert means certain death. Ishmael had poked the Mama Bear.
As you read this perhaps you are lost in a fantasy of being able to toss that horrible person in your life into the desert. Like Hagar, they don’t need to die necessarily, just go away, far away. Alas, into the desert they cannot be tossed yet sadly, with the holidays are on the horizon, many of us may be finding ourselves soon breathing the dust of the “Unpleasants” in our lives very soon. Thoughts of dealing with that can ruin the beauty of the season.
There is a myth about a scorpion asking a frog to carry him across the river. The frog refuses at first, but the scorpion reassures him that he won’t sting him, so the frog agrees. Halfway through the river the scorpion stings the frog, and as they’re both drowning, the frog asks, “Why did you do this? Now we’re both going to die.” “I’m a scorpion. It’s my nature,” the scorpion replies.
One thing that can be helpful as we mentally gear up for dealing with the difficult person is to recognize that people are who they are. We can’t expect a scorpion not to sting, even if it hurts itself. Difficult people are the same and we can’t expect them to suddenly act differently. If they always say or do something cruel, they probably always will and we will be less disappointed and hurt if we acknowledge that.
Another suggestion is trying to remember that despite how personal everything feels, the truth is it’s not about you. In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says: “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.” There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. Start by reminding yourself that what people do and say about you is the product of who they are, not who you are. If they need to speak badly about you, guilt, manipulate you or treat you in an unkind way, it’s probably because they feel badly about themselves.
Remember: toxic people are not known for their empathy. They will try to confuse you, go on the offensive, or assume the role of a victim. Stay calm, stay polite, but assertive. Don’t let them bully or guilt you into submission. Your goal is to be honest about your feelings, and to make it clear that you won’t tolerate certain behaviors. They won’t like it but they should begin to understand they won’t get far with you. If they don’t, well then you can chuck them into the desert.
~ Upcoming Events ~
TODAY!
SENS Fundraiser
Dog Haus, Pasadena
Flyers are required. Please click here
~
Sunday, October 29
Confirmation Sunday
Visit from Bishop Bruce
Send -Off for the Smythes
Please join us as we celebrate our confirmands and
as we say a very hard “goodbye” to Father Colville and Sylvia.
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Sunday School
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Heather & Antonio
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Sunday, November 5
Team 1 Acolyting
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Christmas Pageant Rehearsals
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Antonio and Heather
Youth Group
5-7 pm
Please contact Heather if you are interested in hosting
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Sunday, November 12
Team 2 Acolyting
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Christmas Pageant Rehearsals
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Shawna, Antonio and Heather
Harvest Craft Fair & Goat Yoga
Noon | The Close
Spanky and Pippen are two Nigerian dwarf goats
who want to come to St. Edmund’s!
Photo ops and petting zoo will be available after church,
followed by an hour long class starting at noon.
Please RSVP, class is $25 per person.
Spaces can be purchased online
While you wait for class to be begin, enjoy our harvest craft fair out on the Close with local artisans, food, face painting and games for the kids.
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Sunday, November 19
Team 3 Acolyting
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Christmas Pageant Rehearsals
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Allison, Shawna, Antonio and Heather
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Sunday, November 26
Team 4 Acolyting
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Christmas Pageant Rehearsals
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Antonio and Heather
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Sunday, December 3
Team 1 Acolyting
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Christmas Pageant Rehearsals
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Antonio and Heather
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Sunday, December 10
Team 2 Acolyting
Family Worship
10 am | Chapel
Christmas Pageant Rehearsals
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Teaching: Antonio and Heather
Matinee to see “The Star”
Join us for lunch and a movie as we get ready for Christmas
