Last week I attended my denominations version of Safeguarding God’s Children for clergy. One of the big topics was social media, in particular how to have appropriate relationships online as well as how to care for yourself when messages and opinions can be bleeping into your life all hours of the day. I left the training thinking about how much adults struggle with these issues and how much more difficult and confusing it must be for kids. It is a valid concern that social media could cause our younger generations to struggle in ways that are preventable. I found two articles that I found interesting and helpful so I thought I would pass them along this week and next. This first one came from a website: https://yourvibrantfamily.com/teens-social-media-boundaries/
WHY SOCIAL MEDIA SELF CONTROL IS CRITICAL FOR TEENS
(MELANIE’S STORY)
I recently met Melanie, a college graduate who after ten months of job searching, still has not found a career “match.” When I asked her about her job hunt and if she had ever had a full-time job, she shared her story.
Melanie landed her first job the summer following graduation and was excited to utilize her skill set and prove herself in the workplace. But, unfortunately, Melanie’s lack of social intelligence (and lack of social media habits) trumped her proficiencies. She brought her cell phone to orientation and kept checking incoming text messages during her training, which aggravated her manager. When she was late getting a project done and was criticized, she responded defensively via email. And during the course of any given day, she was checking Facebook to catch up with friends. When team members began growing distant, her supervisor met with her and asked if she had any idea why. She did not. After three months of similar conversations with her supervisor, she was finally let go.
This story, which we were given permission to share, is similar to many other students’ I meet across the country. I believe we, as parents, must not only seize the opportunity to help our young students develop social media self control, but encourage them in how to develop healthy in person relationships. These skills are necessary for the workplace and in real life.
5 WAYS TO HELP TEENS DEVELOP HEALTHY SOCIAL MEDIA HABITS AND BUILD IN-PERSON RELATIONSHIPS
1. Balance tech-time with touch-time. Encourage your kids to spend the same amount of hours with people (face-to-face) as they do in front of a screen. When we made this agreement in our family, the result was the cultivation of interpersonal skills and the ability to read facial and body language.
2. For each Instagram or Facebook group joined, have them throw a party and host it. Reinforce the importance of real conversations and making human connections. This enables students to take initiative with people and learn how to truly serve others. With my kids, I even went as far as to have them host the parties we as parents planned. I had them greet guests, take their coat, offer something to drink, and ask how their day was.
3. For every person “unfriended” on social media, talk about successfully resolving conflicts. We live in a disposable world where it’s easier to avoid problems than face them – easier to make new friends than stick it out through conflicts with existing friends. It’s important to teach kids to never end a close relationship via technology. That’s cowardice.
4. Demonstrate when present with people, it’s important to make them a priority over the ones on your phone. With the exception of replying to an important message, when you check your portable device, you communicate to those around you that there are other people more important than them.
5. Cultivate relationships with different generations. In today’s world, the younger generation mainly interacts with their peers. But to successfully mature, it’s crucial to practice interacting with and forming relationships with those of different generations. For a year, I coordinated meetings with mentors for my two kids, so that other adults could speak wisdom into their life. Another idea – encourage volunteer opportunities at retirement homes and preschools. We must help enlarge their horizons by connecting them with people from older and younger age groups.
OTHER CHARACTER TRAITS TEENS LEARN FROM HEALTHY SOCIAL MEDIA BOUNDARIES
How else can teens benefit when they learn social media self control and developing healthy online boundaries? What other character traits are strengthened in a teen’s life when they choose to put down the cell phone and to develop in-person relationships?
Here are a few:
It is in waiting that I build patience.
It is in face-to-face collaboration that I build interpersonal skills.
It is in attempting risky ventures that I build courage.
It is in struggling that I build perseverance.
It is in boredom that I have margins to imagine and think creatively.
Summer Reading Challenge
This summer Heather is going to try to read as many Newbery Medal Award winning books as she can. Join the challenge and see if you can out-read her! For a list of books click here.
~ Upcoming Events ~
Sunday, June 10
Team 2 Acolyting
Sunday School
10 am | Sunday School Classrooms
There will be no Family Worship as Heather and Antonio will be on vacation. Please have students go directly to the Sunday School Classroom.
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Saturday, June 16
History Day
8:30 am – 2 pm
Bring your kids as you celebrate why you came to St. Edmund’s, why you stay and what you would like to see in the future. Heather and Antonio will be outside with the Slip n Slide, hockey an ice cream.
A continental breakfast and lunch will be provided.
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Sunday, June 17
Team 3 Acolyting
Children’s Liturgy
10 am | Chapel
Sunday School
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
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Sunday, June 24
Team 4 Acolyting
Children’s Liturgy
10 am | Chapel
Sunday School
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
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Sunday, July 1
Team 1 Acolyting
Children’s Liturgy
10 am | Chapel
Sunday School
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
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Sunday, July 8
Sunday at the Beach and Paddleboard Yoga
The study of Acts will take us through the middle of July.
What better to complete a book full of islands and shipwrecks than
by spending a Sunday at the beach!
Mother’s Beach in Marina del Rey is a beautiful spot with lots of parking, nice bathrooms, calm water, life guards, picnic areas and a playground. Families are welcome to join us at any point during the day and stay as long as they like.
If you want to come for some early morning sun and stretching, join us for Paddleboard Yoga! The first 30 minutes of the class is dedicated to learning how to properly use a paddleboard and enjoy a peaceful paddle around the harbor. The remaining hour is dedicated to yoga on the paddleboard. Each board has an individual anchor that is dropped down before the Yoga portion of class begins so that the student does not drift away while focusing on their practice. YOGAqua classes are open to “all levels”. Students are taken through a Vinyasa Yoga flow with customized and detailed instruction for the paddleboard so even if they have not been practicing yoga for years, or if they have never been on a paddleboard, they will be able to follow along with no problem.
A single class costs $44 which includes use of a paddleboard.
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Sunday, July 15
Team 3 Acolyting
Children’s Liturgy
10 am | Chapel
Sunday School
10:30 am | Sunday School Classrooms
Please feel free to contact Heather if you have questions.